


these things they force you to do aren't fair

by harrytomlinsonwhoops



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bearding, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 16:12:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrytomlinsonwhoops/pseuds/harrytomlinsonwhoops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what happened: Harry smiled, slow and happy, and Louis fell hard. Then Louis did something- made a joke, hugged Harry a little longer than necessary, and by some miracle, Harry fell too. </p><p>This is what happened after that: people noticed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	these things they force you to do aren't fair

They offer him a compromise. Say he can keep Harry, just not in public. If he does what they want (date a girl, act straight, keep the interest of their young female fans) they will give him what he wants (a way out of the contract, a way to still be with his band-member, even though they'd agreed not to).

"We promise," one of them says. He doesn't know which one; They're all faceless people to him. Made up of suits and annoyed looks, and he sees dollar signs in their eyes when they look at them- the five boys taking the world by storm.

He feels like he's about to make a deal with the devil. He's sitting in a chair, Harry pressed up next to him, the other three standing around them, all fiercely protective and ready to stand up for them- the two boys who fell in love when they shouldn't have.

"We have a lovely girl for you to be seen with, Louis," a woman says, and her lips curl like this is somehow funny. Her artificial smile does not reach her eyes. He notices.

He says, "Okay," anyway.

*

This is what happened: Harry smiled, slow and sweet, and Louis fell hard. Then Louis did something- made a joke, hugged Harry a little longer than necessary, and by some miracle, Harry fell too.

This is what happened after that: people noticed. There were looks and whispers and tweets and questions. People talked, and he was constantly called back into that office where it all started. He was constantly yelled at, constantly being told off for staring at Harry for too long, or not holding Eleanor's hand as tightly as a loving boyfriend should.

Then Harry started getting tattoos. 'Hi' and 'I can't change' and 'things I can't' and 'things I can.'

(The 'things I can' arm remained empty. It was symbolic and stupid and _sad_ and Louis hated it. )

And suddenly Harry was the one getting told off. Article popped up more regularly about 'Harry Styles; the eighteen year old womaniser'. 

It was enough to drive a person half-insane. (Just look at what has become of him.)

This is what happens: he slips his hand into Eleanor's, looks at her and tries to imagine Harry's face. He doesn't delete the 'bullshit' tweet. Tries not to hug the girl who gives him the balloon. Glares at her instead. He is thinking – _if they want a monster, they will get a monster_.

*

He feels pity for Eleanor, sometimes. He thinks that maybe he shouldn't be so rude to her. So indifferent.

He thinks he could spare Eleanor, but then he remembers that Eleanor did not spare him in the end. She was so quick to sign her name on the dotted line. So quick to sign up for a life of fame, completely equipped with adoring fans, free clothes, a ticket to every big event. He owes her nothing. He doesn't owe anybody anything.

*

When they mess up, when their fingers touch for too long, when they look at one another too intensely, and its caught on camera for the whole world to see, he thinks of it as a victory, and like any victor, he is pleased. (He is thrilled.)

*

Sometimes his life feels like a movie. There's flashing light, pretty girls and pretty boys with perfect skin and too white teeth. There's singing and fame and love and everything a movie needs.

Including a pair of star crossed lovers.

Only- there's a part in the movie, where you can see right through his acting. He watches it on YouTube, in the interviews, in the live performances, over and over and over. Sees himself break a little bit more every time Eleanor is mentioned in interviews, every time he's forced to deny the only part of himself that matters.

He grips Harry's hand a little bit tighter when they're away from the cameras, and tries to breathe.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading. i would truly love it if any of you could spare the time to watch this [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEUumIaxM9M&app=desktop), and then consider sharing it or donating to [this cause](http://prf.donorpages.com/TeamEnzoFundraising/CatherinaLlontop/). a little boy that i know was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease called progeria. this disease causes him to age at rapid rates, and children who suffer from this have a life expectancy of only 15 years. enzo is currently the only child with this disease in the entirety of australia, and he and his family would appreciate any awareness you could raise or any funds you can spare. if you're unable to financially help, please consider even sharing the video so maybe it will reach someone who is able to. again, thank you for reading.
> 
> as usual, find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/slytherinlarry_) and [tumblr](http://slytherin-larrie.tumblr.com).


End file.
